Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize