yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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