he referred to my room as the tit cave...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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