I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
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