Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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