Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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