I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize