You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
