that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
