I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you will always have a special place in my vag
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
