just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
