I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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