im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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