well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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