it's too hot outside to masturbate.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
