If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
