Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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