i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She even gives head with a lisp.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
