I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
