You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
