i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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