she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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