Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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