i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
