Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
