So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
