awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
