I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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