PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
