in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
