I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
