I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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