the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
