I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
