Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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