We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize