How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
