found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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