ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
