My first STD was from a foam party
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize