morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
