So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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