You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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