yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
