i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We need to get me chipped asap
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