hotel room ftw
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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