he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
