Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
