You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He felt like a one man threesome
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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