I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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