I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
