I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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