He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
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