Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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