Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
