Don't worry. I has chaperone.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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