no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
