My friends, they love my intelligence
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
