so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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