I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
