Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
