if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize