Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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