Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
