Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize