Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
