So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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