New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
That accounts for only three of the penises
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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