____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize