You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
