Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
