i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
