I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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