We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize