This girl is more easily done than said...
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
