yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just high enough for therapy.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
