cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We need a shit load of segways right now
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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