i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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