p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
