I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
