one might say we're banned from that church
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
