i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
